It has been nearly 5 years since my last cigarette and today I was filling up my gas tank and saw an advertisement for a pack for over 5 dollars. Now I rarely want to smoke but man these past 2 weeks I have just felt like running to that person I was when I did smoke. When people are to over protective and personalize everything it makes life and conflict much more impossible. People need to realize that everything does not depend on them or revolve around them. I understand people need to be apart of something. It is part of who we are. We need to feel useful but not in everything. Then there are the people who don't understand "helping" a friend out and make everything so much harder. I understand there are rules to certain things but when you are a friend you can bend those rules or figure out a why to work around those quicker. My job requires me to do A LOT of typing and now because of that I have developed carpel tunnel syndrome. Now out of all the stuff that is not something to big. But when you have only been at this job for 2 months and you are already starting to feel the effects of it. It makes me angry. This job is a temp job. It is to make some money to save and then move out with or figure out what the hell I wanna do in my life. It is not to destroy my body and lose my mind over.
I try to be there for people just the same way I would want them to be for me. But there are people in this world that don't get that. It makes my life harder. So here I am sitting in my room about ready to go to bed after a relaxing sunday and I feel alone and hurt and that I need a cigarette. I am hoping this week goes by quicker and is a wonderful enjoyment of the time I get to be with my co workers and my friends. I won't see my sister until next weekend but I do hope she has a good week..
Back to a little bit more Battlestar Galactica,
Breanne
Bre, as a former smoker myself I can totally relate to your story. I had to cut people out of my life because they were smokers and it wasn't good for me to be around them because it only made me want to smoke again. Quitting is a hard road, but once you've been on it a while, you learn slowly how to control it. I'm proud of you for not giving in and, if you have given in, please remember that we're human. Sometimes things are bigger than us. I'm still proud of you for trying. I know it's hard.
ReplyDeleteI do want you to know that you've been an inspiration to me. Even though work is stressful, you make me laugh, and that makes my day! I hope I'm not someone who makes your life harder and I hope I do the same for you. You are really special, never forget that. It's truly a privilege to know you and call you my friend.